A Simple Phrase to Embrace Compassion for Yourself
How much of our lives do we spend feeling down because of what we "should have" done? We often dwell on missed opportunities, unfinished tasks, and the constant feeling that we are not good enough because of what we didn’t do. We beat ourselves up with thoughts like, "I should have done this” or "I should have known better."
The message here is simple and clear: embrace compassion for yourself with a simple phrase, and see how it starts to transform your life.
“You couldn’t have known before, now let’s take action.”
Why We Beat Ourselves Up
Unrealistic Expectations: We often expect ourselves to perform perfectly, forgetting that learning and growth are ongoing processes.
Comparison with Others: Seeing others’ successes on social media or in our personal lives can make us feel inadequate.
Cultural Pressures: Societal standards can make us feel we should have achieved certain milestones by specific ages.
The Power of the Simple Phrase
When we have those “aha” moments about a blind spot or a mistake, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism, “Why didn’t I know that sooner?” However, reminding ourselves that “you couldn’t have known” can help us:
Release Self-Judgment: Accept that it's okay not to have all the answers.
Cultivate Self-Compassion: Treat ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a friend.
Acknowledge Growth: Understand that mistakes are part of the learning process.
Just as we wouldn’t expect a ten-day-old baby to read a chapter book, we shouldn't expect ourselves to have known things before we learned them. Progression hasn't brought us to that stage of development yet, and that's perfectly okay.
Applying This Philosophy
This mindset can be particularly helpful when you discover a new way to approach a problem or recognize a past mistake. Instead of beating yourself up, remember that you were doing the best you could with the knowledge and resources you had at the time.
How to Take Action
Our course, The Fundamentals, is a valuable tool for restoring dignity and compassion for ourselves. It goes beyond the simple phrase, providing a framework to meet ourselves where we are and understand that it's okay not to have known everything up to this point. Because, once we realize there's something new to learn or an action to take, it becomes our responsibility to seek help, learn, and grow.
The next time you catch yourself in a cycle of self-blame, pause and remind yourself, “You couldn’t have known, now let’s take action.” This simple shift in perspective can help you embrace self-compassion, acknowledge your growth, and continue moving forward with a kinder, more forgiving attitude toward yourself.
